Lockdown Artist Diary – Day 42

artist drawing a teddy bear during lockdown
Still searching for my muse.

Lockdown Diary. Day 42.

The days are merging into one another. Shopping and planning meals has provided the only structure to this strange new life. Although I keep reminding myself that I should feel grateful – I’m in good health with good company and comfortable accommodation, eating very well – I find myself growing angry at these constant constraints. I don’t want to have to write another f****ng shopping list!

drawing of walking boots and compass during lockdown. A reminder of the artist's abandoned walking holiday because of lockdown

But still I write them. And I draw. I draw what is around me… My walking shoes, when I was thinking about the cancelled walking holiday that I should have started today. I draw the bag of flour that I found on the supermarket shelf, after weeks of searching, that I hurried home with, as if running from an illicit drugs deal.

a drawing of eggs and flour made during lockdown. This was the first day the artist could actually find flour in the shops, after weeks of empty shelves

I draw bottles of wine, that I look forward to drinking at the weekend – another constraint, but self-imposed, to protect my liver during lockdown.

I drew my girlfriend’s shoes, when I felt sad that we haven’t been able to go out anywhere for a long time. Our own caution meant we stopped going to bars or restaurants a month before the official look down.

drawing of fashionable shoes during lockdown. a reminder that there was nowhere to go and wear such shoes during lockdown

Without restaurants or cafés, I have found myself spending an awful lot of time planning and preparing meals. A weekly menu – another list! – helps avoid constant repetition of my old favourites. Yesterday I cooked my first rosti!

And then there’s the teddy bear. He has become a regular model. I suspect that I see my drawings of him as self-portraits. So why does he look so sad all the time.?