![artist drawing a teddy bear during lockdown](http://dalessandri.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/IMG_20200503_1353322-3-785x1250.jpg)
Lockdown Diary. Day 42.
The days are merging into one another. Shopping and planning meals has provided the only structure to this strange new life. Although I keep reminding myself that I should feel grateful – I’m in good health with good company and comfortable accommodation, eating very well – I find myself growing angry at these constant constraints. I don’t want to have to write another f****ng shopping list!
![drawing of walking boots and compass during lockdown. A reminder of the artist's abandoned walking holiday because of lockdown](http://dalessandri.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/IMG_20200403_141216-1-1480x1250.jpg)
But still I write them. And I draw. I draw what is around me… My walking shoes, when I was thinking about the cancelled walking holiday that I should have started today. I draw the bag of flour that I found on the supermarket shelf, after weeks of searching, that I hurried home with, as if running from an illicit drugs deal.
![a drawing of eggs and flour made during lockdown. This was the first day the artist could actually find flour in the shops, after weeks of empty shelves](http://dalessandri.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/IMG_20200415_164645-1566x1250.jpg)
I draw bottles of wine, that I look forward to drinking at the weekend – another constraint, but self-imposed, to protect my liver during lockdown.
![](http://dalessandri.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/IMG_20200408_160854-1-1060x1250.jpg)
I drew my girlfriend’s shoes, when I felt sad that we haven’t been able to go out anywhere for a long time. Our own caution meant we stopped going to bars or restaurants a month before the official look down.
![drawing of fashionable shoes during lockdown. a reminder that there was nowhere to go and wear such shoes during lockdown](http://dalessandri.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/IMG_20200424_125906-1-1410x1250.jpg)
Without restaurants or cafés, I have found myself spending an awful lot of time planning and preparing meals. A weekly menu – another list! – helps avoid constant repetition of my old favourites. Yesterday I cooked my first rosti!
![](http://dalessandri.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/IMG_20200407_115358-3-1507x1250.jpg)
And then there’s the teddy bear. He has become a regular model. I suspect that I see my drawings of him as self-portraits. So why does he look so sad all the time.?
![](http://dalessandri.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/IMG_20200417_154406-1-1000x1250.jpg)
![](http://dalessandri.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/IMG_20200430_144355-1-1583x1250.jpg)